They called you Fat? Now what?!
The bane of my existence with women. Statements like..
- He called me a...
-They said I’m ....
- I can’t because I’m .....
- Yeah, they may have said it, you’ve picked it up and chose to wear it.
Your self esteem is created then reflected back to you through language, not the other way around.
I start from the assumption that your self esteem is an inside job.
The internet and Webber’s dictionary is in a fluster trying to keep up with banished words.
Personally I find it ridiculous.
I am NOT for identity politics, mass generalisations and assumptions of an entire demographic of people... but, what I will say is,
try to report someone to the cops using PC language?!
The words aren’t the problem it’s the intention attached to it.
To go one step further, it’s the intrinsic and self deprecating relationship you have with that word.
One I have personally and the majority of women I’ve known, have feared to hear.
Hmmm, so when someone is using it towards you or about someone else, it’s the unspoken and assumed intention, character definition or used to create an emotional response.
This is actually your own inner monologue you are fighting against or an intended insult to belittle you from the past. You hear that word and it recreates all the shame, sadness and humiliation you’ve felt before.
(of a person or animal) having a large amount of excess flesh.
Yep, that is all the word means, excess flesh.
So, we, you and I included have created an entire character narrative to this word.
So with this being said, can I ask you?
Do you believe it means you are less than everyone else?
Do you believe this is used to humiliate you because of what you think it characterises you in society?
Do you actually believe or hold an opinion that you are not as good as anyone else?
All of these are so sad, there self deprecating and torturous.
Fortunately though, if you choose to be empowered and powerful, you can work on changing YOUR relationship with that word Right now.
Is it something else? Here is a list of examples of where you could be attaching your past your present.
Is it a past experience where you felt humiliated?
Is it because you believe it implies lazy or unmotivated?
Is it a symptom that is outside of your control, medical, physical etc?
We’re you rejected or experience a relationship where it was used with intention to hurt you?
Does that word speak to a time that was challenging and reminds you of pain?
Ok let me answer these 👆🏻as a friend, a woman and person who assumes you are capable and deserving.
You have had an awful experience in past, your ability to choose how you feel NOW is your choice.
Do you believe you are lazy? Yes? You can do something about it. No? What’s the problem?!
Something happened outside of your control, that it is why it is that much more important, that you choose how you see yourself.
Bad relationship? Used as demonisation? He/She is a dick.
Reminds of you pain? A time where it was hard, don’t let that grip you and ruin your experiences now.
If these are your stories, YOU CAN change your attachment to them at any time.
Your being, your feelings, your experience and your validity as a human should not be giving to another person the permission to assign the ✅ tick of approval, you are the leader in your life, that means supporting your own mental wellness.
If you don’t want to vilified by another person don’t leave your existence and worth to be decided by them either,
Instead of this movement trying to get everyone else to make you feel better, by changing words, asking for approval.
YOU can feel better, you choose.
YOU will respect yourself more,
YOU will feel loved by yourself.
YOU will teach people how to treat you.
YOU ARE THE CENTRE OF YOUR LIFE, take your power back.
Use the worksheets to help you rediscover your boundaries and have a plan for how to uphold them.
Download the Free Ebook here >>>>I want it.
My name is Samantha, but please call me Sam. My passion ..... talking .... at its most basic form. I love talking, conversations, listening to people, understanding business messages, human behaviour all through conversation.
Naturally, this is why I’m a communication coach.
Not about public speaking or a vocabulary lesson, I help you communicate within so you feel confident out.
✨Communication is a skill, speaking up for yourself and standing up for your needs, it will open doors for you every where. ✨
My mission for my clients, friends and acquaintances is helping you communicate to build your connection and deepens your relationships.😍❤️
Follow me on Instagram:
or check out my website for all my free content.