What Meghan Markle and Harry show us about modern day relationships & traditional marriages.
Updated: Jul 10
Modern-day dating statistics and data are providing some very shocking facts about how people are meeting each other, the longevity of relationships and the birth rate of women as we go forward. It is showing a clear line between, what was, and where it is going.
It has created the rise of subcultures and movements between men and women.
The red pill movement or commonly known as the 'Manosphere' are men who speak about the distinct lack of relationship options for the average man and the biological markers that men experience. Being shunned or rejected in the modern dating scene. The relentless attack on masculinity as a whole with conflicting messaging from the media and women. Proving that women no matter how progressive, still statistically crave the masculine man. Resource-rich and status-driven men who can essentially protect and provide. Men are being attacked for being exactly what society needs, however verbally are told to be more feminine and submissive. The Red Pill movement speaks to men to 'Chase status, not women."
The Feminism movement or the "Girl Boss Culture" are women who speak about the distinct lack of their freedom to live freely like men. Requesting respect for their ability, particularly within academia and the workplace and not needing to be patronized or experience condescension when moving through their career. Feminism poses the statement - We are more than a wife and a mother and have earned the right to be seen as a contender in this capitalistic establishment. Women also speak freely about the distinct lack of men who they desire, while speaking about the perils of masculinity and the safety women need both verbally and physically.
The fundamentals that the 'Red Pill' movement in a nutshell speaks about data-driven and statistical information about gender roles, hypergamy and the biological nature of both men and women.
The fundamentals of "feminism' is breaking societal norms, and equity between the sexes in respect to home and work life and sharing personal anecdotes on the individual women. Trying to create change in the culture for more balance between roles.
When you look at both, it becomes a worrying dichotomy. We need men and women respecting each other. Complimentary not competitively.
The more time that goes on, the further the premise of both groups further their movement repel from each other. Making the battle of sexes adversarial and opposed to each other rather a respectful collaborative experience with each other. Without getting into the ultra-specific or personal nature of the 'royals' , this documentary did show the battle between traditional vs modern marriages and dating dynamics. My goal with this blog is to steel man both sides to a place of neutrality.
The comparison between both royal couples, William and Kate, and Meghan and Harry have shown a generalized view of traditionalism and modernism.
Generally speaking, the people who find themselves aligned with the former, speak to duty, and traditional values, living to the expectations and normal structure of the family+ lineage and responsibility.
The latter, generally speaking, the people who align themselves with that couple, speak to individual choices, breaking lineage patterns, not being held to an expectation and caring for one self-first without the expectation bestowed upon them without consent. Both ideals have their pros and cons however, even within one family, you can see society as a whole fragmenting and separating without understanding or openness to adjusting norms while respecting traditional values.
Watching both marriages show the reality of personal responsibility and pushing for societal accountability. I want to break down the pros and cons of both without alienating either side yet also not promoting either side.
Society is in a very weird place right now. Progress for the sake of progress, sake isn't a good idea.
However, the tradition for the sake of tradition isn't a good idea either. Let's look at the pros of both marriages, generally.
Will and Kate - PROS -
Leadership
Will is the leader even when you read stories, the leader of his family. Showing he leads in the conversations and takes the brunt of the criticism of family issues and the media. The pro is showing what women statistically want. Men lead and protect.
2. Royal Roles
Both Will and Kate understood their roles, Will to be upstanding in his eventual impending royal status and living the right and duty to the monarchy that honor his family. Kate understands her role as the future queen, Mother and extra activities to complement her role and place in future and represent the legacy of the past.
3. Decorum and diplomacy
Never Explain and never complain. Rising above attacks, media and personal attacks and rising above the stories because of the understanding of their place and the loyalty and 'character' they need to display in the world.
4. Stability and Reliability
Continuing a traditional and nostalgic view of the English Royal institution. The times have changed in recent decades, however, one of the comforts that people, countries and how the world, view tradition shows the need for consistency, continuity and stability. It helps people feel like the 'fairy tale' can be achieved and is dependable.
5. Loyalty and Privacy
Discernment, grace and privacy. The ability to keep their lives and the intricacy of their relationship quiet, small and private. It shows the masculine stoic nature of Will and the demure, feminine and loyal nature of Kate.
Meghan and Harry - PROS -
The Female Lead
Meghan leads the media coverage - Meghan Markle, her last name after marriage and being addressed first, without the olden day, Mr and Mrs Windsor blanket statement. Paving the way for women to be seen in their own right without stepping back and assimilating to the men and the name. Women don't need to be an addition to a man but a separate person within a relationship.
2. New roles
Changing the roles. Both Meghan and Harry have rejected the roles that they have inherited, that weren't consented or chosen. Harry has resentment and anger toward the establishment and doesn't agree with the 'way things are'. He doesn't want his wife to follow the traditional role. Harry has shown he wants to live his life without the global expectations of an aging monarchy.
3. Social Media Royals
Meghan and Harry show that they are the 'social media' royal family. Candid speaking, accessible, showing real-life - behind-the-scenes footage. Being more relatable and creating resonance. Breaking down the establishment of distance and connecting with everyday people.
4. Facing cultural issues
Going out of their way to make significant societal and cultural changes to traditional institutions. From the wedding, the photos of Archie, and when and who they arrive at events with. How they speak to the media. Being real people, expressing their mental health issues, traumas and life impacts. Showing that the fairy tale isn't what we perceive it to be.
5. Gender Constructs
Harry shows a modern-day man, calling out when he has been attacked or judged online and the damage it does. Showing that men can sit back and let the woman speak to her experience without worrying about the impact on the man or family. Being more in touch with his emotions and feelings, the grudges and hopes and emotions he feels. Meghan speaks about the issues publicly about her husband's family openly and the injustice she feels. Displaying her disdain and sadness at the lack of change and calling out the need for growth.
Both pros for the marriages seem great for where you sit in your values and principles, however, it was more telling about the way we view acceptance of other people, the victim mentality, the adversarial nature we see both sexes, the line in the sand for the men and women's movement.
I hope this gives you some insight to modern day relationships, men and women. I hope that you can understand and put yourself in the shoes of others and take the information from each other with some compassion, unity and data.
I would like to see:
Personal Responsibility: If you make your choices, you get to dance in the success and learn from the failings.
Getting rid of the victim mentality: No one can make you do anything you don't want to do. You can speak to when you've been wrong but understand hypocrisy and contradictions too.
Exploitation needs to end: Throwing people generally under the bus and acting as though the difference between the sexes makes one better than the other. Exploiting perceived weakness is gross.
Respect & Disconnection: Respect each other whenever you are and share someone else without the need to win or share your need to justify your own choices. When listening to or viewing other people's choices, it has nothing to do with you. It isn't an attack or invitation to statistically rip someone down.
Truth and empathy: Telling someone the truth is needed, but that doesn't mean attacking, being rude or tactless toward them. On the flip side, not being able to hear the truth or being so rigid in your generalized or personal experience doesn't allow you the information to understand each other.
Where do you stand with this topic, the Royal Family or has it helped you see both sides from neutrality a little easier??
Let me know in the comments.
Sam x
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About the Author.
Samantha Moir:
Hey!!! 👋
My name is Samantha, but please call me Sam. My passion ..... talking ....listening and talking some more.
I love talking, conversations, listening to people, understanding business messages, human behaviour all through conversation.
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